8 Wedding Traditions & Myths You Can Forget About
Updated: Oct 14
Planning a wedding can be a stressful experience, but it really doesn't need to be - you're marrying the love of your life! It doesn't help when there are so many silly myths and traditions flying about, but have no fear - I'm here to set the record straight.
1. The bride's parents pay for the wedding
This is an outdated custom, and certainly not usually the case any more. The bride's family would traditionally want to throw a party to welcome the groom and his family to their family, but also to protect their daughter by showing authority and their high status. We're in 2020 now people - the happy couple can pay for their own wedding, although a little help from 'The bank of Mum and Dad' will always be gratefully received, I'm sure.
2. Handmade is cheaper
It's a common misconception that making everything yourselves is cheaper. That may have been the case once upon a time, but not so much anymore. With wedding invitations and decorations being so high in demand these days, the market is very competitive - meaning competitive, affordable prices. Technology has advanced, production costs have become cheaper, and accessibility is just plain easy due to the lovely world wide web.
3. You should stick to at least a few traditions
No, no, no. 'should' is a horrible word. Do what you like! No, there doesn't need to be a wedding cake, no, you don't need a bouquet toss... Heck, you don't even need to wear a dress if you don't want to. We humans have a habit of following traditions (which are sometimes lovely), but you need to do what is best for you. Our wedding day was utterly perfect, however part of me wishes I'd broken the mould and gone for a colourful dress rather than an ivory one.
4. People will bend over backwards to help
Not to put a downer on things, but this isn't the case and you need to be prepared for that. It's a lovely thought, you and your nearest and dearest crafting together and making memories, but not everyone will be as excited in the build up to your big day as you are - maybe not even your partner! Start planning early, write some lists and enjoy the whole process - any extra help is an added bonus.
5. You've got to keep the peace
This is a bit of a sensitive issue for me for various reasons, but let me just say: YOU DO NOT NEED TO INVITE ANYONE TO YOUR WEDDING THAT YOU DO NOT WANT TO INVITE. For all the people pleasers out there, this can be a really tough concept to grasp. Trust me, been there, done that. But it really, REALLY is YOUR day, and there shouldn't be any regrets. It's hard, I know, as you don't want to upset anyone, but you're paying a lot of money for each person - why should you have to spend that on someone you don't even have a relationship with?!
6. It looks weird if you don't have any bridesmaids
Not at all. If it doesn't feel right for you to have bridesmaids, then don't. Bridesmaids can be great for many reasons - they're a great way to show your closest gal pals that you care, plus they can be a great support system to you; but, there are negatives to the whole idea, too. If you're worried about offending people for not asking them, have only made friends recently so don't feel like you're quite 'there' yet, or if you just can't be bothered with the whole idea, then I'd say going solo is the right choice for you.
7. Only men should make the speeches
Hell no! I made a speech at our wedding, and it was the best decision I made. I had so much to say, and hated the idea of people speaking on my behalf. Again, this is another tradition from a different time when women didn't have as many rights as men - it doesn't matter nowadays who does what. Set a new trend!
8. Now that you're married, when are you having children?!
This one really bugs me. I get it, some older family members grew up in a different time and traditionally you got married, had a baby, settled down - but life is so different now. Don't feel bad or even justify this kind of question with an answer if you don't want to. We all take life at our own pace and need to do what makes us happy. Fur babies all the way!
So, in conclusion... Basically just do whatever the hell you want. It's your big day, and no one has the right to influence or change anything for you. If you're worried about something that you've heard or seen online, ask around, do some research and put your mind at rest - there's a lot of fake news out there which can make the whole planning process stressful, but it needn't be.
Have fun and just be you!